I’m a “Bad Mom”
That’s what I mentally screamed at myself for years and years! My first failure was immediate when I fell short of attaining a beautiful birth story with both of my girls. My fate was sealed when the breastfeeding Nurse told me my first baby wasn’t getting enough milk and I needed to give her formula instead. So much so, that I knew I wouldn’t be good enough to breast feed my second daughter, so I didn’t even try. I beat myself up every time my daughter cried as I left her at daycare on my way to work. And when my high-expectations job bled into our homelife… this was how I defined myself. I was a single mom, trying to solve the problems of the world at work, provide financially for everything we wanted, and then looking into eyes of my daughters believing I let them down… feeling in every cell “If I’m not perfect, that means I’m a failure, a f*@king waste, and a bad mom!”
I wanted the LEGEND of motherhood. You know, that “perfect” Mom who leisurely walked her kids to and from school smiling all the way, did all the laundry & kept their immaculate home while the kids were at school, cooked “whole foods” and homemade snacks (while never dragging their exhausted screaming child through the grocery store), and looking like she stepped out of a yoga magazine all the while. Even when I dedicated every moment I was not working to keeping my home as clean as I could manage, washing & putting away everyone’s laundry, cooking every night, doing homework/projects, bathing kids… even though I found a way to throw birthday parties, baked homemade birthday cakes, and moved my responsibilities around to maximize “Mom-time” for my 2 daughters, NEVER missing an award, a field trip, or class party… it wasn’t enough to convince myself that I wasn’t a Bad Mom for not reaching perfection. I held myself to an UNATTAINABLE goal and beat myself up day-in and day-out with the shame of being “less-than”.
Utilizing an energy psychology healing technique, I was able to FINALLY release myself from the shame and see the TRUTH. I am NOT a Bad Mom… I’m actually an amazing example to my daughters of a woman who brings my ALL to each and everything I do… they have seen me struggle, but they have watched me PREVAIL…they write in their school assignments that they know their Mom loves them and has their back 100% and always… both of them are sweet, intelligent, understanding, intuitive, and wise… not only do they have awareness of the power of emotion, relationships, and boundaries… but they have witnessed the power of HEALING & integrating the lessons from experience. I have not failed them with my “imperfection”, I have EMPOWERED them!!
To all the Mamas out there doing their best each day to bring their best to their kiddos… remember that being an amazing MOM isn’t summed up to whether you naturally birthed them, breastfed or formula fed them, not in the Pinterest crafts, the expensive birthday parties, or any of the other expectations society seems to place on Moms. The MOST important thing your babies need… is YOU & YOUR LOVE!! And when we care for ourselves and do the work we need to do to be whole, healed and healthy… they benefit from that too! So today, I wish you peace, rest, joy, and love… may your cup run over with all the good things in life! And if you want to release any of your own negative beliefs, definitions, unrealistic expectations… I’m here with you!
